REVIEW: Demons
Arsenio Hall used to have a talk show. On this show, somewhere during the opening monologue, he'd occasionally do a bit about "Things that make you go hmmm." I think there was a song about it sometime in the early nineties, perhaps MC Hammer, but "Demons" is the closest thing we have to a movie version -- an hour and a half of completely inexplicable behaviors, motivations, and occurences, all designed to leave you scratching your head. On the bright side, it's at least slightly entertaining towards the end, when all of the surreal things really build up and get weirder and weirder.
From the Bava/Argento/Fulci camp of Italian horror, we have this little masterpiece of strangeness in which a bunch of people are invited to a mysterious movie screening by a partially masked man (played by future horror director Michele Soavi), and then trapped in the theater by demon-zombies. I thought I'd have a go at explaining the finer points of the plot, like how the plight of the characters mimics the movie they're watching, and how there's this coked-up gang of car thieves that shows up, but it doesn't really matter. This isn't a good movie, no matter how you look at it, and I can't really understand the many positive reviews it's gotten. It's fun, I suppose, in the same way that sitting on a porch and drinking is fun: even though nothing of substance happens, beer makes it entertaining!
The only appeal that this movie has is that it's got a lot of weird touches and inconsistencies that make it kind of funny and entertaining, although those aren't even enough to merit a second viewing. Unfortunately, that's all I have to work with, so I'll just go over stuff that occurred to me, like the fact that there's a mannequin in gothic clothes carrying a samurai sword sitting on top of a motorcycle in the lobby of the theater -- and the fact that no one ever thought to use the sword against the demons until the last ten minutes of the movie. But I guess that's not really fair, since no one ever fought back against the demons in the first place, choosing the easier path of just not defending themselves whatsoever.
I also noticed that there was the least amount of characterization I have ever seen in a movie -- ever -- so that the only thing we knew about the characters were their names. I was entertained by the bitchy usherette's pilgrim-Santa's-helper outfit, and how steeped in 1980's style this whole movie is. Best of all, I was absolutely overjoyed when, out of nowhere, a helicopter fell through the ceiling of the theater, with no build-up, and virtually no follow-up -- I think it's great when screenwriter get stuck, and say to themselves, "What can we make come crashing through the ceiling?"
I can't say that I recommend this film, because I think it's pretty shoddy even as a low-grade horror movie; but I gotta say, it does have its perks, although I think I probably supplied as much of my own amusement as the film itself did. Unless you're a true believer, or a lover of surrealism, avoid this one.
ARE YOU ASTONISHED?
From the Bava/Argento/Fulci camp of Italian horror, we have this little masterpiece of strangeness in which a bunch of people are invited to a mysterious movie screening by a partially masked man (played by future horror director Michele Soavi), and then trapped in the theater by demon-zombies. I thought I'd have a go at explaining the finer points of the plot, like how the plight of the characters mimics the movie they're watching, and how there's this coked-up gang of car thieves that shows up, but it doesn't really matter. This isn't a good movie, no matter how you look at it, and I can't really understand the many positive reviews it's gotten. It's fun, I suppose, in the same way that sitting on a porch and drinking is fun: even though nothing of substance happens, beer makes it entertaining!
The only appeal that this movie has is that it's got a lot of weird touches and inconsistencies that make it kind of funny and entertaining, although those aren't even enough to merit a second viewing. Unfortunately, that's all I have to work with, so I'll just go over stuff that occurred to me, like the fact that there's a mannequin in gothic clothes carrying a samurai sword sitting on top of a motorcycle in the lobby of the theater -- and the fact that no one ever thought to use the sword against the demons until the last ten minutes of the movie. But I guess that's not really fair, since no one ever fought back against the demons in the first place, choosing the easier path of just not defending themselves whatsoever.
I also noticed that there was the least amount of characterization I have ever seen in a movie -- ever -- so that the only thing we knew about the characters were their names. I was entertained by the bitchy usherette's pilgrim-Santa's-helper outfit, and how steeped in 1980's style this whole movie is. Best of all, I was absolutely overjoyed when, out of nowhere, a helicopter fell through the ceiling of the theater, with no build-up, and virtually no follow-up -- I think it's great when screenwriter get stuck, and say to themselves, "What can we make come crashing through the ceiling?"
I can't say that I recommend this film, because I think it's pretty shoddy even as a low-grade horror movie; but I gotta say, it does have its perks, although I think I probably supplied as much of my own amusement as the film itself did. Unless you're a true believer, or a lover of surrealism, avoid this one.
ARE YOU ASTONISHED?
- For all its faults, "Demons" has Billy Idol and Rick Springfield on the soundtrack. And that rules!
- It never occurred to me that the people weren't fighting back until one of them seemingly accidentally swung a chair and knocked a demon over. Then, like a lightbulb, I thought: they should have tried that sooner.
- The scene where George and Cheryl ride over the seats on a motorcycle while killing zombies is a hoot! Keep an eye out for the leaping zombies, since they're the second-funniest thing in the movie.
- When they got in the chopper after it came through the roof, I seriously, seriously thought they were going to get in and fly out of the theater. They didn't, but for about 45 seconds it seemed like it was gonna happen, and I was prepared to piss myself. That would've totally made the rest of the movie worth it!
- How long were they in the theater? Five hours? Six? Then how come it's like Mad Max Does Germany when they got out? The city's in ruins, rampant with demons, fires everywhere, cars overturned, and Tina Turner owns Berlin.
sent by The Retropolitan at 2:02 PM
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